Silent Screams
by Jackie W
Summary: SG1's luck finally runs out when Sam is captured by the Goa'uld - Completed
1. Torture

Title: "Silent Screams"  
  
Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com  
  
Rating: R  
  
Classification: SJ UST/Romance  
  
Season: Season 7, immediately after Death Knell  
  
Spoilers: Small ones through Heroes part II. All events after that episode do not occur.  
  
  
  
Summary: SG1's luck finally runs out when Sam is captured and tortured.   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes, and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.   
  
  
  
Sam eventually figured out that they had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Typical SG1 bad luck. However the miraculous stroke of good luck that usually followed didn't come along for four long months. By that time it was way too late for her.  
  
They had been sent to check out P4R-277. The UAV had flown over Goa'uld ruins, and sent back pictures clear enough for Daniel to determine that the planet had once been one of Ra's outposts. Hoping to pick up any weapons or other technology abandoned there, SG1 arrived just hours before a squadron of Jaffa landed in a Teltac. They too were looking to scavenge anything left behind for their god Ptah, a Goa'uld with little power who had been hovering on the outskirts of other's territories for centuries. They surprised the four members of SG1 as they both converged on the small temple not far from the gate, and a firefight ensued. Just bad timing.   
  
She was never really sure what happened at the end. It had been utter chaos as the four of them tried to get back to the gate, firing at the Jaffa who were trying to surround them and cut them off. She saw Daniel get hit in the left arm, luckily not a life threatening shot, but enough damage to make it difficult for him to return fire. Sam instinctively moved into a better position to cover him. The next thing she knew she was waking up in a Sarcophagus aboard Ptah's mothership. None of her teammates were with her, which simultaneously filled her with relief and terror. Hopefully they had made it back to Earth alive. Not that it would do her any good. She was long gone from P4R-277 even if they had been able to get re-enforcements and return.  
  
  
  
It didn't take her long to figure out that ol' Ptah was pretty far out of the loop. As she was tortured for information she learned a lot more than she gave away. He had only a vague idea of the current power structure of the System Lords, made no mention of Earth, nor did he give any indication that he'd ever heard of SG1. All pluses in Sam's eyes. On the downside, he was so far removed from the main stream of Goa'uld activities there was little hope that there were any Tok'ra or rebel Jaffa in his ranks. No help from within was likely. The only thing working in her favor was that thanks to his scavenger tendencies, Ptah was kept pretty busy staying one step ahead of whatever Goa'uld he had just stolen from. It meant that entire days went by without any torture which gave her a bit of breathing space to recover in between her sessions with the megalomaniac. She needed those days, as it also seemed that Ptah wasn't too worried about her dying. She had not been put into the sarcophagus again since her arrival.   
  
Four weeks had passed when the Goa'uld finally became bored with the lack of information he had received from the prisoner. In the past he might have forced her to serve him, but he currently had a consort that he was quite fond of, so he decided to play a different sort of game. Since Sam wouldn't talk he began punishing her any time she uttered a sound. It didn't take long for her to learn the rules of the game. Speaking resulted in two Jaffa working her over with their staff weapons. Moaning or screaming in pain was punishable by slapping her around or stomping on ribs. Once she called out in her sleep in the throes of a nightmare and was promptly hung by her wrists from the ceiling dislocating both of her shoulders.  
  
Three months after she had first been captured found Sam Carter living in a world filled only with pain. Both legs were broken, as well as one arm and wrist, plus numerous ribs. She'd managed to pop both shoulders back into place by ramming them into her cell wall, but the left one ached constantly and was very stiff. She spent the majority of her days curled up silently in the corner of her cell trying to stay still. Occasionally the Jaffa brought her food and water but it was always a mixed blessing, as often they would test her to see if they could get her to cry out. By the time she had survived four months with Ptah she was beginning to welcome the thought of death. Only one thing kept her fighting. One set of brown eyes that she needed to get home to.  
  
  
  
Back on Earth, her teammates were struggling to move on without her. All three had been injured in the firefight and not been allowed back as part of the attempted rescue. They had been devastated at the news that there was no sign of Sam when SG2 and SG3 had come back to report in. They had kept their hopes of finding her alive by contacting all of their allies. The rebel Jaffa had promised to let them know if any of their spies heard or saw anything. The Tok'ra were unreachable as were the Asguard.   
  
The night that Sam's status was changed from MIA to MIA/presumed KIA the three men retreated to Jack's house and drank themselves into a stupor. Even Teal'c managed to drink enough to pass out on the couch. In the morning as they nursed their hangovers Jack admitted that he was thinking of retiring.   
  
"But we need to keep looking for Sam!" Daniel protested.   
  
Jack wanted to tell Daniel that they needed to be realistic and start accepting the fact that Sam was dead, but there was a part of him that refused to give up hope as well. So he agreed to wait. Mentally he made a vow that if they hadn't found her in two months then he was getting out. It was just too painful to be around the SGC without her there.  
  
A month later he was regretting letting Daniel talk him into staying. Fraiser was dead, and the place was swarming with reporters and NID. Once he'd been released from the infirmary and the memorial service had been completed he typed up his retirement papers and handed them to Hammond.   
  
"I have Cassie to think about now, Sir. She has no one left," he explained. And while it was partially the truth, Hammond knew that Jack was also leaving to try to find some relief from the constant grief that Sam's disappearance had caused.   
  
"It will take a couple of weeks to process everything Colonel," Hammond informed him sadly. In the last four months the SGC had lost two of it's best. Now it was losing a third.   
  
Two days later the Klaxon's sounded and Bra'tak accompanied by two Tok'ra walked through the gate with the broken body of Sam Carter. She was unconscious, battered to the point of being barely recognizable, but alive.  
  
  
  
Seventeen weeks and three days after Sam was captured she finally got the miracle she needed. Not that she could have told you how long it had been, only that the faces that she saw in her dreams seemed to be from another lifetime. Then she awoke one day to find the ship was under attack. Ptah had finally pissed off the wrong Goa'uld and had been hunted down by a squadron of Ba'al's forces. Forced to crash land on the nearest planet, Ptah and most of his Jaffa were killed by the invaders and the ship was stripped of all of its' valuables. The silent unmoving heap in the corner of one dark cell was totally overlooked. Unable to re-start the ship's engines, it was left behind only to be found by a Tok'ra scout ship two days later.  
  
They were surprised to receive signs of one life form on their scans, and even more surprised when they discovered the body. Her dog tags were the only way they identified her as being from Earth as her uniform was long gone. She had obviously hit her head during the crash, and so they gently lifted her and took her back to their ship. They had only the most basic first-aid supplies on board and concentrated on getting her cleaned up and into some clothes. Then they set a course for the small outpost they had been using for a base.   
  
From there they tried to contact her father, since they had both recognized that she was Jacob Carter's daughter. Unable to reach him, and afraid that if they took her to the Tok'ra council she would not be returned promptly to her people, they set out for a planet they knew would help them to gain access to Earth's gate. Their stop on Chulak was brief, just long enough for them to explain the situation and have Master Bra'tak join them with the device to signal the SGC. Sam remained blissfully unconscious through the entire trip.   
  
  
  
She woke up a week later. Unknown to her she'd already had three operations, one on her left leg, one on her left shoulder and one on her right arm. Her other broken leg was set. It had been a simple break and had mostly healed already. Her right arm would be fine now that they had put pins in it to stabilize it. The doctors were unsure if she would ever regain total mobility in her left shoulder. Her left leg was a disaster. Multiple breaks had already healed poorly causing muscle and nerve damage. The doctor's were fighting to keep her from losing the limb totally. At best she would have a severe limp for the rest of her life.   
  
They also had been fighting off infection. There were small burns and cuts all over her body that had had gone untreated. The Tok'ra had done the best they could with the healing device on all of injuries before they left, but most of them were too severe or had already scarred enough to make it impossible for them to do much for her.  
  
The doctor's were reassuring though. She had survived the worst and now it was just a matter of time for her body to heal, so her teammates took turns waiting for her to wake up. Daniel was sleeping in the chair next to her when her eyes finally fluttered open. She stared at him for several minutes before a nurse passing by noticed she was awake. She put out a call to one of the doctors, then placed a hand quietly on Daniel's shoulder.   
  
"Dr. Jackson, look who's awake," she smiled.   
  
Daniel's eyes flew to Sam's and he jumped up to her side.   
  
"Sam! It's Daniel. You're back at the SGC. You're safe now, Sam," he reassured her.   
  
Before he could say anything else the new CMO stepped in and told him he needed to check over the patient. He took a step back to let Dr. Miller do his job. No one was prepared for what happened next. Sam opened her mouth as if to scream, fighting back the doctor with her left arm as best she could. The horrifying part was that absolutely no sound came out. Daniel stepped in after a moment of shock and made the doctor step back.   
  
"Give her time to get her bearings. She's obviously terrified," he warned. Then he turned to the nurse. "Lieutenant, could you call General Hammond and the rest of SG1 down here. A few more familiar faces might help," he suggested.   
  
Dr. Miller nodded at the nurse in agreement and she went to make the pages. Two minutes later Jack entered the room. Teal'c was not far behind.   
  
"Carter, nice to see you awake," Jack greeted.  
  
His 2IC had been staring at Dr. Miller to ensure he didn't come any closer. At the sound of Jack's voice her head whipped around and she looked at him as if she was seeing a ghost. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears which slid silently down her cheeks.   
  
"It's ok, Sam. I told you that you were back and safe now. See Jack and Teal'c are here. Dr. Miller just wants to check you out. Can you let him do that?" Daniel asked.  
  
Sam's head whipped back to where Dr. Miller stood. She shook her head vigorously.   
  
"How about Lt. Rush? Can she take your vitals?" Daniel suggested looking at Dr. Miller for his ok.   
  
Sam looked over at the Lieutenant. Eventually she nodded her grudging approval, and the woman stepped in and following Dr. Miller's quiet orders checked Sam's temperature, and took a look at her throat to she if she saw anything unusual. Daniel was the only one of her team that understood that. He knew that Dr. Miller was wondering if his team had missed an injury that was keeping Sam from speaking. As Lt. Rush finished charting Sam's pulse and blood pressure, Hammond arrived.   
  
"Major Carter, it's good to see you. You've had us all very worried," he said.   
  
Sam looked at him with a small smile, but it was obvious to everyone that she was losing the battle to stay awake. Dr. Miller signaled everyone out of the room, despite SG1's protests.   
  
"Lt. Rush will sit with her for a bit. She's probably not going to wake up again for awhile. I know the General was expecting an update on the Major's condition today, and I don't want to have to repeat myself, so this would be a good time if that's ok, Sir," Dr. Miller suggested.   
  
They ended up in the briefing room, after the Doctor stopped to get his notes.   
  
"As you know the leg injury had up until now been our biggest concern. Dr. Howell feels that we are past the critical point and that the Major will not loose the leg," he reported to the relief of everyone in the room. "However I think we have another problem," he continued.   
  
"It's not unusual for her to not want a male to touch her Doc. We don't know what all was done to her in that hellhole but you can bet your bottom dollar her torturers were all men," Jack commented.   
  
"Yes, I know, and we will all need to be sensitive to that for quiet a while. She probably won't want anyone to touch her, though the fact that she let Lt. Rush do so is encouraging. No, I'm talking about her voice," Dr. Miller explained.   
  
Daniel nodded in understanding then filled in the others on what had occurred. "When Dr. Miller first approached her, Sam made as if to scream, but no sound came out. She didn't make any noise at all the whole time we were in there," he pointed out.   
  
"You think they did something to her throat?" Jack asked.  
  
"We didn't find anything on the initial exams, but we weren't specifically looking for anything either," Dr. Miller told them. "With your permission General, since the Major is asleep now, I'd like to lightly sedate her so that I can perform a few tests without her waking up and panicking," he requested.   
  
"Permission granted, Doctor," Hammond agreed, and Dr. Miller left to run his tests. Hammond motioned the others to stay.   
  
"Eventually someone is going to have to tell Major Carter about Dr. Fraiser. For now though I think unless she asks, we should not bring up the subject. Also, I made the appropriate phone calls to her brother and to Detective Shanahan informing them that the Major had been found. Mark Carter would like to see his sister as soon as possible, but I convinced him to wait until she had been moved from this secure facility. Mr. Shanahan has authorization and would like to visit once the Major is up to it," Hammond told them.  
  
"Cassie too, Sir," Jack added.   
  
"Cassandra is welcome to come as soon as you think she should, Colonel, however it is going to bring up the question of where her mother is," Hammond said.   
  
"Yeah, but I think that both of them need to see each other," Jack decided. "Tomorrow is Saturday, I'll have her come in the morning. Can we keep Shanahan away for a day or two?"  
  
"I'll tell him to come Sunday, that's probably the best I can do. Then he can give her brother an update," Hammond agreed.  
  
Hammond dismissed them and Teal'c decided to take his turn with Carter as soon as Dr. Miller was done with the latest rounds of tests. She was unlikely to wake for hours, but they didn't want to take any chances. Jack relieved him in the wee hours of the morning after getting a few hours of sleep himself. Now he sat and stared without fear of being caught at the woman asleep in the bed. She looked a lot better than she had a week ago, but still so fragile and broken. He wondered how much of the Sam they knew and loved remained. She was strong, but he knew what months of torture could do to a person. So much of what made her so special was her incredible mind. Was it still intact? And if she truly couldn't speak how frustrating would that be for all of them. No more technobabble? He couldn't stand the thought of never hearing her ramble on as she attempted to explain her latest theory or project.   
  
He was aware of the change in her breathing immediately. She had been sleeping peacefully, but he could tell that she was in some distress now. As he watched unsure of what to do he saw her actions become more violent as she thrashed her way through the nightmare. The entire time she made no noise although it appeared that her lips were moving to call out. Finally he moved over to the bed, and careful not to touch her he spoke close to her ear.   
  
"Wake up Carter, it's just a dream. You're ok, Sam. Just wake up," he repeated.  
  
Her eyes suddenly flew open and met his, causing him to move back a bit to give her some space. To his amazement after a minute she reached out one hand tentatively to touch his face.   
  
"I'm real," he assured her. Moving forward just a couple of inches so her hand could reach him.   
  
When her fingers contacted his cheek she closed her eyes in relief. He was real. She was home. She opened her eyes again to take in the features before her. Unconsciously her fingers traced each one, skimming over his eyes and nose and down to his lips. Unable to control himself he pressed a kiss onto her fingers.  
  
"I missed you so much," he admitted.   
  
She wanted to tell him that the thought of getting back to him had kept her alive. Realistically she had known months ago that her career as she'd known it was over. But there was still the thought that there was something left undone in her life that had made her stubbornly refuse to give up. Now she told him the only way she could. Her hand snaked around to the back of his head and she pulled him into a gentle kiss. After she released him he moved back and got caught up in the beauty of her eyes. A moment later with a contented smile she fell back asleep.   
  
He sat there and thought about what had just happened. A million thoughts raced through his head. The old Sam Carter would have never initiated that kiss. But then the old Sam Carter was a soldier under his command first and foremost. He wondered if she understood even in her weakened state that the regs no longer applied. She would be getting a medical discharge, and he was retiring. She couldn't possible know the second, but he wondered if she already understood the first.   
  
His final thought as the day shift of the medical staff started to wander in was to wonder if she would even remember the kiss when she awoke.   
  



	2. Recovery

Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com  
  
Summary: Sam starts on the long road to recovery.  
  
  
  
In the morning Sam was more alert. When Jack mentioned that Cassie wanted to visit her eyes lit up. Then she signaled to them that she wanted to write something. Once she got the pencil and paper she was overwhelmed with questions she wanted answered. The one she picked to start with caused concerned looks to be passed between her teammates.   
  
'Where is Janet?'   
  
Jack refused to lie to her. He sat down next to her with a sigh and told her the entire story. Forgetting her reaction to being touched the day before Daniel moved in to place a comforting hand on her shoulder as she shook with silent sobs. Even through her grief her reaction was immediate as she shoved him away. There was instant regret in her eyes as he stumbled back.   
  
"It's ok, Sam, I just forgot for a minute," Daniel assured her.   
  
Sam nodded her thanks for Daniel's understanding, then swiped at her eyes to clear them.  
  
'How's Cassie?'  
  
"As well as can be expected. She's a strong kid. She's moved in with me, and we've been getting her ready to go off to college. We sure could use your help," Jack explained.   
  
Sam nodded thoughtfully. Then another question occurred to her.  
  
'How long was I gone?'  
  
"About seventeen weeks, and you've been back for a week," Daniel explained causing Sam's eyes to widen.   
  
Although in some respects it seemed like a lot longer she was still stunned. Dr. Miller came in then and Sam wrote down her last question.   
  
'Medical discharge?'  
  
Dr. Miller looked at her in dismay. So she *had* figured that out, Jack thought.   
  
"Yes, I'm sorry Major. While everything else may heal completely your left leg will not. The good news is that you won't lose it, and I'm pretty sure that with a lot of physical therapy you will walk on it again, but there has been too much damage for there not to be a permanent limp," he told her. "It's going to be a long recovery I'm afraid."  
  
Sam nodded. She was so not looking forward to that part.   
  
"I have a few questions if you feel up to it," Dr. Miller said. When there were no objections he continued. "We haven't seen any indication of sarcophagus withdrawal. Were you put into one?"  
  
Sam raised one finger to indicate one time, and Dr. Miller noted it.   
  
"Do you remember any injuries to your throat that might be responsible for you losing your voice?" he asked. "We can't find any damage to explain it."   
  
She shook her head to indicate 'no' but she was visibly upset. Jack paled as he understood the implications. Sam had been tortured into silence. He shuddered at the thought. How bad must it have been to shut down even the automatic responses such as screaming? He quickly signaled the doctor to change the line of questioning as he exchanged a look of concern with Teal'c who also had figured it out.   
  
Soon it was obvious that Sam was tiring so they left her with Daniel sitting guard duty as she napped. Cassie was due to arrive in an hour so it was good that she was sleeping now. In the meantime Jack was summoned to Hammond's office.   
  
"Colonel, I wanted to let you know that this is your last chance to change your mind about your retirement. On Monday the paperwork will have progressed to the point of no return," he warned.   
  
"I'm even more sure than before that I need to do this. I'm not saying that I might not be willing to come back sometime in the future in some capacity, Sir, but right now I have other priorities," he confessed.   
  
Hammond nodded his understanding. He was no fool and knew just how much Jack O'Neill cared for his former 2IC. He had no doubts about who would be helping Sam Carter through this tough recovery.   
  
"Dr. Miller says that there is no physical reason for the Major's silence," the General informed him.   
  
Jack paused and then told him his theory. Hammond looked ill at the thought.   
  
"She's lucky she has you, son," he acknowledged.   
  
Jack met the General's eyes. There was no need to hide how he felt anymore.   
  
"We'll see if she feels that way after I've bullied her through all the therapy, Sir," he admitted with a shrug.  
  
  
  
Sam's meeting with Cassie went well. Despite them warning the teen that Sam was still reluctant to be touched the two had been wrapped in a hug within minutes of the girl entering the infirmary. Afterwards Cassie found Jack in his office.   
  
"She's changed," she quietly admitted.   
  
"Yes, she has. She's been through something that she will have to deal with every day for the rest of her life. It changes you. But if you have friends and family to help you through it you hopefully find your way. Carter is strong and she has all of us to help her. She'll make it back to us," Jack assured the girl.   
  
"Is she going to come live with us?" Cassie inquired.  
  
"Probably. At least at first. Do you mind?" Jack asked.   
  
"No, I want her to," Cassie told him. "I've missed her and it will be nice to have her there with us. What about after I go off to school? You two going to still live together?" she suggested with a grin.  
  
"One day at a time, Cass. One day at a time," Jack warned.   
  
.  
  
The next day's visit from Pete Shanahan did not go as well. Sam was nervous around him, and despite their warnings he reached out for her hand at one point causing her to jerk away and give one of her silent screams. It freaked the man out. Luckily Jack had insisted that one of her teammates be present, and Daniel had volunteered. He calmed Sam down and suggested to Pete that he cut the visit short.   
  
"She's really not ready for a lot of visitors yet," he explained. "You might want to wait until after she's had a bit of therapy before you try to visit again."  
  
Pete reluctantly agreed, but insisted that he be given regular updates on her status. He wanted to know the minute she was speaking so he could call her. Jack just shook his head at that when he heard. Did the man not realize that Sam might *never* speak again? They all hoped that she would, but it all depended on how deep the trauma was. Jack suspected it was going to be a long process.   
  
After another two weeks Dr. Miller finally let her go home. The cast was off her right leg which meant that she was able to swing herself in and out of bed. She still couldn't use crutches thanks to the cast on her arm so she was confined to a wheelchair for another couple of weeks. She'd been meeting with Dr. McKenzie regularly and while they had made some progress, she still had not uttered a sound. On the day she was to be released all of SG1, Hammond and Cassie gathered in the infirmary.   
  
"I picked up everything on your list and got it all put away in Uncle Jack's spare room, Sam," Cassie informed her.   
  
Sam wasn't too sure about moving in with Jack, but she really had no choice. She certainly couldn't cope by herself yet, and it wouldn't be fair to Cassie to ask the teen to move in with Sam and try to take care of an invalid. The Colonel's house was the logical choice. There were only three stairs to maneuver on the first floor and the hallways and rooms were big enough to get around in a wheelchair for a few weeks.  
  
She had thrown quite a fit when she'd heard Jack was retiring though. As many times as he'd tried to explain that it was in the works before she came back she was sure he was doing it out of a misplaced sense of duty to care for her. Finally Teal'c had sat down and told her some home truths. He reminded her of how she had felt during the times Jack had been missing.  
  
"O'Neill was like a bear with a sore paw. Most inhospitable," he recounted. "Then as time went on he became very depressed, especially after the events of Dr. Fraiser's death. He told me he could no longer stand to be around the halls of the SGC, and for his own sanity and to care for Cassandra Fraiser he was leaving," he recalled. "Still there was the regret that he was leaving you out there, your fate unknown. Your returning has given him back his life in many ways, Major Carter," he acknowledged.   
  
Sam reached out a hesitant hand to touch his arm and mouthed a 'Thank you'. Her touch was fleeting, but the big man's heart was warmed by the amount of trust and friendship the small gesture showed. She made a similar gesture to Daniel later as he brought her up to date on Sarah Gardner's progress. As far as any of them knew it was the only time she had made contact with any males since her return. None of them knew about the times in the middle of the night that she would awaken from her nightmares and hold onto Jack for dear life, sometimes soaking his shirt with tears, sometime just finding comfort in his warmth and the sound of his heart beating next to her.   
  
Jack's heart soared each time he had her in his arms. He knew though that he was going to have one heck of a time giving Sam the comfort that she needed without rushing her into something she wasn't ready for yet, especially when she was living in his house. He was determined to take it slow and let Sam set the pace for whatever type of new relationship they might have.   
  
Meanwhile now that the day had come Sam could barely contain her excitement. For the first time in over five months she was going home, even if it was to Jack's house. And while she wouldn't consider herself mobile by any means it was a vast improvement on the various forms of confinement she had been enduring. When they exited the base into the bright sunshine she lifted her face to the light and breathed in deeply of the fresh air. The group surrounding her ready to load her into the Colonel's truck paused to let her enjoy the moment and they were treated to the sight of rare smile.   
  
By the time they had settled her into Jack's spare room her excitement had turned to exhaustion and she fell asleep immediately. That left her three ex-teammates and Cassie to argue over what to order for dinner. They decided on Sam's favorite, Chinese, hoping to tempt her appetite when she woke up. Despite all the supplements that she had been taking the last three weeks she had yet to put on any weight and they needed to get her to start eating again as she currently looked like the casts were the only thing keeping a strong breeze from blowing her away.   
  
The house was pretty full of people all weekend and Sam was glad when Daniel and Teal'c finally left on Sunday. She was tired of trying to stay in the conversation by writing things down. Everyone was very patient with her, but you could tell that Daniel especially wanted to push her to say something. Before heading off to bed she made a suggestion to Jack and Cassie. She wanted to learn sign language. She expected them to tell her that it was a waste of time, that she'd be talking again soon, but instead they supported the idea. They even told her they would both go to classes too, because just Sam learning it wouldn't be very useful.   
  
On Monday, when Jack took Sam back to the SGC for get physical therapy and her session with McKenzie, he went in search of Daniel to see if he wanted to join them in taking the classes. To his dismay the linguist was appalled at the idea.   
  
"Sam's not deaf, Jack. I would think that you would be encouraging her to talk instead of letting her cop out," he protested.   
  
"What I'm doing is letting her cope with the problem in her own timeframe. If she can communicate she can relax and not feel pressured to do anything she's not ready to do. She needs to feel in control, Daniel," Jack explained.   
  
Not surprisingly, Daniel admitted that he already knew sign language although he was a bit rusty. He promised to brush up his skills although he was still doubtful about the idea. Teal'c was leaving to spend time helping out with the rebel Jaffa, and didn't know how long he would be gone. Hammond had given him an open-ended leave of absence. With Daniel now only going out on missions where his skills were needed, SG1 was officially disbanded. Both Jack and Sam had been given consultant status, which allowed them access to the base. Jack knew that Hammond had arranged that to make Sam's therapy easier as the doctor's with the clearance to treat her were mostly within the mountain and he was grateful to the man for smoothing the way for her. It also meant that no one had to watch what was said around them as they still had security clearance to know about what was going on.   
  
So their lives fell into a routine of physical therapy and counseling sessions for Sam, with the rest of their time spent getting Cassie ready for college and taking sign language classes. Sam continued to make good progress. The cast came off her right arm, allowing her to progress to crutches and get out more. Her appetite slowly returned and as she put back on a bit of weight her skin and hair began to regain their lost luster. And she smiled more often. Soon she was back to reading her science journals and stopping in the lab when on base to see what new alien technology had been brought in. She even tentatively suggested moving back to her own house, but Cassie begged her to stay until she left for college so they could all be together.   
  
Jack was just thinking that their lives were looking up when unexpected visitors sent things spinning out of control once again.  
  



	3. Interference

Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com  
  
Summary: Pete and Mark arrive to help Sam and she let's them have it… literally.   
  
  
  
The two men showed up one Saturday with no warning and with a very definite agenda. Sam's lack of progress speaking had convinced them that she wasn't getting the proper care, and they were determined to whisk her away to a clinic in Denver where she could get help.  
  
Mark had been shocked when he'd made a quick weekend trip to see his sister immediately after she'd been released from the base. Pete had only been allowed to see her the one time and the sketchy details he'd passed along hadn't prepared the man for the reality that Sam Carter presented. Thin, silent and in a wheelchair every fear he had ever had for his sister's safety seemed have come true. It was a relief to him that she was to be medically discharged from the Air Force. At least she would be safe from now on. He hadn't been too happy with the care arrangement, but had been unable to convince Sam to come back to San Diego to recuperate with him. Several frustrating phone conversations since then had led him to call Pete and ask him to call in a few favors.   
  
Now Pete Shanahan and Mark Carter stood rigidly on the front porch waiting for someone to answer the door. There was a truck in the driveway and they heard voices, so they were getting a bit frustrated at being ignored when they realized that the sounds were actually coming from outside of the house and they walked around to the back.   
  
There they found Sam stretched out on a lounger, sunglasses on, one leg still in a cast, watching with a grin as Jack and Cassie argued over whether the burgers on the grill were ready or not. She looked up in surprise as the two newcomers appeared and then scowled a bit as she tried to get the chefs' attention by knocking her knuckles against the table next to her. Pete took pity and spoke up.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt," he called out.   
  
Cassie turned with a bit of a startled yelp, but Jack O'Neill glanced over his shoulder as if he wasn't at all surprised to see them. After silently looking back to the grill and removing the burgers from the flame, he finally turned to the guests.   
  
"Detective Shanahan, this is a surprise. To what do we owe the honor?" he quizzed sarcastically.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, you remember Sam's brother, Mark Carter," Pete introduced the man standing next to him who had only briefly met Jack during his last visit.   
  
Reluctantly, Jack politely shook hands with Mark. The last thing he wanted was to give the man a reason to dislike him right, he was Carter's brother after all. Then he walked over and gave Sam a hand up out of the chair.  
  
Handing her the crutches he quietly suggested, "Sam why don't you take your guests inside. Cassie, get them something to drink and I'll bring in the food in a minute."  
  
Sam hesitated. She really didn't want to be alone with the two, but then she shrugged and led the way in. She settled them in the living room, casting Cassandra a grateful smile as she took drink orders and returned swiftly with the two glasses. She signed to Cass that she wanted her to translate.   
  
"Sam would like to know what you are doing here. She's glad to see you Mark, but you should have called," the teen conveyed.  
  
"But then I couldn't have actually talked to you could I?" Mark pointed out causing Cassie to take an instant dislike to the man.  
  
"Wow, that was rude," she responded, then bowed to Sam's request to let her handle it.   
  
Sam started signing furiously and Cassie translated as she went. "If you wanted to have a rational conversation I think you just pretty much blew it brother dear. I may not be back to full strength but I probably could still toss you out on your ass. Now, my lunch is getting cold, and we have plans for the afternoon. Why don't you say what you came here to say and then you can both leave," Sam finished looking pointedly at Pete.   
  
"As your only family member that seems to be around at the moment… where is Dad by the way? Never mind, I'm sure it's classified. Anyway, I've made arrangements for you to be checked into a clinic in Denver that specializes in trauma related disorders. They can help you there, Sam and I won't take no for an answer," Mark told her.   
  
Jack had made it into the kitchen with the burgers at this point and winced at that last statement. Sam had made great progress over the last few weeks, mostly because they had all followed Jack's suggestion, (backed up by Dr, McKenzie of all people) to let her control as many decisions as possible. Now Mark was trying to ride roughshod over her and the results couldn't possibly be anything but disastrous. He saw Sam's body stiffen in determination.   
  
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there are a few problems with your plan. First, I have no desire to go with you to some clinic where I won't know a soul. Second, I sincerely doubt that there is anyone there with a high enough security clearance to even treat me, and third, you may be my brother but you have no say in what I do," Sam argued via Cassie.   
  
"Well, the state of Colorado disagrees with my having say. They granted me power of attorney to allow me to make some decisions for you. Pete is here as an officer of the law to make sure that I'm allowed to take you with me with no interference," Mark informed them all with a smirk.   
  
Jack was torn between going for the phone to call in reinforcements and getting to Carter before something bad could happen. In the second that he hesitated Sam took matters into her own hands. Suddenly everything she could get her hands on was being hurled at the two men that she regarded as a threat. Lamps, books, and pictures became weapons and the women hadn't lost her aim. Within seconds both men were bleeding from direct hits and were diving behind furniture for protection.  
  
Cassie was screaming at Sam to stop and backing out of the room. Jack yelled at her to call Hammond and get backup. Then he stepped into the fray.   
  
"Carter, stop! That's an order," he yelled in his best Colonel voice even as he prepared to tackle her if his voice alone didn't snap her out of it.   
  
To his relief she froze at his command. Then she looked around at the mess she had made and collapsed in a heap. Once again O'Neill had to make a quick decision. He walked over to the two men and checked them over quickly. Neither was seriously hurt, so he told them to stay down while he went over to Sam. He paused for a second to put one hand carefully on her shoulder so he didn't startle her, and when she didn't protest he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.   
  
"You can come out now," he told the two men.   
  
Pete was prepared for Sam's silent sobs, but they tore her brother's heart out. She was wrapped firmly in Jack's arm and he was rocking her in manner Mark knew he himself had used on his children when they were scared and upset. Her body was shaking violently and tears were running down her face, and yet not a single sound escaped her lips. The silence was eerie.   
  
"There's a first aid kit in the kitchen Cass. Please get it and clean up that cut on the Detective's head. Hopefully it won't need stitches. Mark, it looks like you just got winged in the arm but you had better clean up that scratch and put a Band-Aid on it," Jack suggested. "There will be several officers here shortly to clear up the issue of your power of Attorney. Sam will not be going anywhere with you," he informed them in a voice that brooked no arguments.   
  
At his words Sam calmed down. Despite her brave front when Mark first issued his ultimatum she had been terrified that she was going to be put away in that clinic. She wasn't really sorry she had fought back, but she was sorry about the things she had broken. She hoped she hadn't grabbed any family heirlooms in the process. She could hear Cassie and her brother talking in the kitchen. It sounded like Cass was giving him a hard time and she struggled to overhear what was being said, but they were suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door.   
  
Jack moved her over to the couch and went to let the group standing on the front porch in. To his surprise this included General Hammond, Dr. McKenzie and Dr. Miller along with Daniel and all of SG2. Then he smiled.   
  
"Sam, your rescue team is here. Hey did you guys leave anyone on base?" Jack commented.   
  
"We heard someone was threatening Sam. Is she ok?" Daniel demanded.   
  
"She's upset. Why don't you all come in and let's get this sorted. Docs, why don't you and Cassie take Sam out on the deck and talk to her. Daniel maybe you should go too. Sam could use another friendly face. General, I'm going to need your help to explain to Carter's brother that he can't just waltz in here and take her," he explained, then turning to SG2 he sighed. "I'm hoping a show of force isn't necessary, but maybe you guys should stick around," Jack suggested, all the while picking up the remnants of the items Sam had thrown so that they had a place to sit.   
  
All in all it wasn't too bad. One of the lamps was broken, but the other he just placed back on the table. The books he just stacked in a chair along with the three pictures she had managed to grab, noticing that one had cracked glass that would need to be replaced. No serious damage there. He looked at Mark Carter and Pete Shanahan as they entered the room. They both looked ok, but he'd make sure Doc Miller checked over the cut on Shanahan's head before he left.   
  
He let Hammond take over. Frankly the whole encounter had left him shaken and exhausted. Mark Carter at least was polite and respectful in the General's presence and Jack remembered that he would remember the man from his childhood as George had been a friend of Jacob's for years. He let most of the conversation flow over him just making sure that the two men were coming to the understanding that they didn't have a legal leg to stand on. Meanwhile, Jack's thoughts were on the woman outside. She'd been doing so well. He couldn't help but worry about what this little drama would mean to her recovery.  
  
Surprisingly, Dr. McKenzie pulled Jack aside before he left and told him he thought that this had been a good thing for Sam.   
  
"She was able to fight back, Colonel. That's something she couldn't do during her time with Ptah," he explained. "I think it was a positive step forward. I frankly was getting a bit concerned that she hadn't expressed any anger yet."  
  
Jack nodded in understanding. He remembered his anger stage after Iraq. He had held it in for months and then had taken his rage out on anyone and everyone, including Sara and Charlie. Sam at least had let it out at an appropriate time, which was probably healthier. He figured this was McKenzie's way of warning him that there were more outbursts ahead.   
  
"I understand Doc, thanks," he said.   
  
McKenzie departed assured that he was leaving his patient in good hands. O'Neill had surprised him over the course of the last six weeks. He'd listened to the advice of the experts, often making suggestions based on his own experiences. Good suggestions. And he'd been open to coming in with Carter for a couple of joint sessions. Sam Carter was lucky. The man loved her and would move heaven and earth to make sure she had everything she needed to get through this.  
  
Jack wasn't really surprised when he was awoken by the sound of shuffling footsteps entering his room in the wee hours of the morning. When they had first come home Sam would often show up at the foot of his bed trembling from a nightmare. Those occurrences had been dwindling though and he found that he missed having her in his bed even if it was only for a few hours. Tonight he simply threw back the covers to let her in and drew her in close. He murmured comforting words even as his traitorous body reveled in the feel of her. She had gained some weight and the curves were beginning to reappear. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that he was holding an attractive woman that he loved with all of his heart in his arms.   
  
Maybe when Cassie left for college he would ask Sam to go fishing with him. 


	4. Positive Reenforcement

Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesficaol.com  
  
Summary: They really should talk to each other.   
  
  
  
Sam felt like she was turning into a total bitch. The least little thing seemed to set her off. She was frustrated by the slow progress her shoulder was making and in constant pain aggravated by using the crutches. She wasn't sleeping well again as she was besieged by nightmares. And she was tired of feeling like she had to rely on others for everything. Then there was Jack O'Neill. She could handle it when he was being a royal pain in the ass. That was the Jack she knew and loved. But he was being so patient with her she wanted to scream.   
  
She hated herself for needing him so much. She had always been independent and to cling to him so desperately made her feel like a coward. To top it all off she wanted more from him. She was recovered enough now that being in his arms no longer just comforted her; it aroused her as well. And yet he showed no signs of wanting her in return. But then why would he? She had stood in the bathroom many a morning studying the body that was once firm and shapely. Granted she was no longer painfully thin, but there was still nothing there to attract a man like Jack O'Neill. Not to mention the scars that marred her (that no one except for Dr. Miller had seen). The Jaffa had delighted in using knifes and hot pokers to try to get her to call out during those last months in captivity. Looking at the reminders she knew that Ptah had been correct when he said that no man would ever find her desirable again.   
  
Unbeknownst to anyone, Ptah had ordered his Jaffa to not touch the female prisoner in anyway sexual. It had saved Sam from being raped while in captivity. Spitefully, he then told Sam that he had no further use for her. He said that he had offered her to his Jaffa, but that they found her so repulsive in her current condition, broken and scarred, that they did not see her as anything other that a plaything to continue to torture. The belief that she was now undesirable was re-enforced that awful day she had been stung up for calling out in her sleep. As she hung there totally naked one of the Jaffa had been tempted to have his way with her. The other guard had reminded him that she was 'forbidden' in Goa'uld, a word Sam had mistaken for one meaning 'disgusting'. The guards had retreated, and Sam had been left to look down at her bruised body in tears. Relief that nothing had happened had warred with the painful knowledge that she wasn't even worthy of raping.   
  
Now she berated herself over her moments of weakness when she needed to be in Jack's arms, convinced that she should wean herself from him before she embarrassed him with her unwanted feelings, a conviction that was re-enforced during a trip to the mall the next week.   
  
Cassie had a last minute list of items she needed before going off to college and had convinced Sam that she needed some new clothes too. After all she hadn't bought herself anything in over six months and she wasn't living in BDU's anymore. So Jack squired them to the mall, unwilling to let the two of them struggle with crutches and packages alone and let them loose while he ran a few errands. They agreed to meet up in the food court. Jack took all of forty-five minutes to do his shopping and then took up residence at a table. He'd brought his Gameboy, and was happily absorbed when a familiar voice broke his concentration.   
  
"Nice to know some things never change. Hi, Jack," the woman greeted him with a wry smile.   
  
"Sara! Small world. Take a load off," he replied offering her a chair.   
  
"It's good to see you, too, Jack." She chuckled. "So what's new that you can actually talk about?"  
  
"Actually I'm retired, Sara, so my life is an open book," he told her.   
  
"Again? Do you think it will stick this time?" she inquired knowingly.  
  
"Well, technically I am still a consultant, so who knows," he acknowledged.   
  
"So what are you doing with yourself? I'm surprised you are not at the cabin this time of year," she asked.  
  
"It's a long story, but I've had a busy summer," Jack stated vaguely. How could he explain the living arrangements that would seem odd to anyone that didn't know the whole story.   
  
Just then Cassie turned up with an arm full of bags. "Jack, look after these. Sam is trying on clothes and needs my help," she ordered before spotting the person sitting with him. "Oh, hi. Sorry to interrupt," she apologized.   
  
"Cassie, this is my ex-wife Sara. And this whirlwind is my adopted daughter Cassandra," Jack told a startled Sara. "Who appears to be giving my charge cards quite a work-out."  
  
Cassie was dying to stay and try to find out what he was doing chatting with his ex, but she had left Sam in a dressing room and needed to hurry back.   
  
"It's nice to meet you, Sara. I have to go rescue Sam otherwise I'd love to stay and listen to Jack try to explain me to you," she grinned, and then dashed off as fast as she had appeared.  
  
"You have been busy," Sara commented in shock.   
  
"Her mom was a friend, our Chief Medical Officer. Patched me up more times than I care to count. Cassie lost her whole family when she was eleven, and Doc took her in. Then Janet, Dr. Fraiser got herself killed five months ago," Jack explained. "Cassie was still two months shy of eighteen so someone had to legally adopt her. It was supposed to be Sam, but she was missing in action at the time, so I stepped in."   
  
"Sam is a she?" Sarah asked trying to keep up. She knew better than to ask how the doctor had been killed.  
  
"Major Samantha Carter was my second in command. She got a medical discharge when she was found," Jack told her, and Sara swore he was choked up by the memory. She understood why five minutes later when Cassie returned with Sam in tow.   
  
Sam hadn't known why Cassie was in such a hurry to get back, but when she saw the woman sitting with Jack and she understood. One look at Sara O'Neill and she decided that the time for her to break away and let Jack get on with his life had arrived. The woman was still in love with him.   
  
  
  
The next three weeks were a whirlwind of changes. The cast on Sam's leg finally came off, and while she still needed crutches to get around it still improved her mobility tenfold. No more stretching out in the back seat of Jack's truck, she could now sit normally in the front seat of any car, and even drive if it was an automatic. A week later they drove Cassie to college. The parting was tearful, but within days it was obvious that the teen had made several new friends and was having the time of her life.   
  
So it was down to just Sam and Jack. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, but a week after Cassie moved out, Sam did too. Back in her quiet house, she looked around in despair. She had never felt so alone in her entire life. Jack wasn't fairing any better. His house had been full of people for months, and now he was alone again. He called Hammond and told him he was ready to consider a more active training or consulting role and the General jumped at the chance to get him back. Sam had been putting in a bit of work there too, helping to debug a few gate errors. He was glad to see that she wasn't just sitting around the house in between her physical therapy session. He knew that Daniel was spending a lot of free time at her house too, so he figured she'd be fine.   
  
Which is why when Sara called and suggested they get together for dinner he agreed. They'd talked a few times since the chance meeting at the mall and it seemed perfectly natural, just going out as two friends. So why did it feel like he was doing something wrong? Even Daniel had raised an eyebrow when he'd heard. Jack felt slightly better knowing that his friend was having dinner with Sam that night, but still found his thoughts turning to her several times as he got ready and went to pick up Sara. They were at the restaurant when Jack's cell phone rang. It was Daniel, and his words sent chills up Jack's spine.   
  
"Sam's in trouble. You'd better get over here."  
  
  
  
He arrived to find Hammond and McKenzie already there in a huddle with Daniel. His friend looked up in relief to see Jack.   
  
"Thank god. She won't let any of us near her," he reported in concern.  
  
"Where is she?" Jack asked looking around the empty living room.  
  
Daniel pointed to the closet. "She didn't answer when I got here so I let myself in. I couldn't find her, then I heard a noise from in there. She freaked when I tried to go in to check on her," he reported.   
  
Jack moved over to the door signaling the others to stay back and let him do this alone. He opened the door to see Sam curled up in the corner in a tight ball, trembling. He racked his brain to think of what might have caused her to regress to this state. He was just about to go ask Daniel exactly what he had seen and heard on entering the house when it happened. Sam sneezed. She tried her best to hold it in, and it ended up as just a soft snuffle, but it caused her to back even further in the corner in fear.   
  
The enormity of it hit him. Here was one sound she couldn't stifle. One auto response that couldn't be controlled. She'd been forced out of her silence and was waiting for retribution. He racked his brain for the appropriate way to handle this. Positive re-enforcement was needed. The next time she sneezed she needed to associate the sound with something other than pain. Quietly he began repeating over and over that it was ok, that she was home, that it was Jack and she was fine. He didn't want her to freak out if he touched her. Gradually she started to uncurl and he actually had her half in his arms when he saw her start to panic and stiffen. A second later she sneezed again. He did the only thing he could think of.   
  
He kissed her. 


	5. Technobabble

Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesficaol.com  
  
Summary: He loves it when she talks technobabble   
  
  
  
He wasn't sure who was more surprised when their lips parted, but the one small part of his brain that was still functioning knew he needed to say something.  
  
"God bless you," he whispered.   
  
She blinked several times in rapid succession. He couldn't tell what she was thinking but at least she had stopped shaking, and she was still in his arms and not fighting him off. Then slowly he saw her features start to relax into an embarrassed smile.   
  
"Ready to move out of here?" he asked.   
  
She nodded, looking around the dark space with a grimace. A series of grunts on his part accompanied their less than graceful rise from the floor, and they stepped out into the hall to be met by three sets of concerned eyes.   
  
"Is she ok?" Daniel voiced for all three.   
  
"She's fine. Nothing a good cold medicine won't take care of," Jack said by way of explanation, thoroughly confusing the men.  
  
Sam rolled her eyes at him and then signed, "I have a cold and I sneezed. I know it's really stupid but I panicked," Daniel automatically translated aloud.  
  
"Not stupid at all, Major. As a matter of fact it's fantastic," Dr. McKenzie smiled. Since Daniel and Hammond still didn't get the significance he continued. "It's a first step to breaking the silence. She's made a sound, even if it was involuntary, and there was no pain to associate with it."  
  
Jack noticed Sam blush slightly. Nope, pain wasn't what either of them was associating with her sneezing. A few minutes later Dr. McKenzie and General Hammond took their leave, after ensuring that Daniel and Jack would be staying with Sam for the night.   
  
"So, we were going to order take-out. Jack have you eaten?" Daniel said once the others had left.   
  
"No. How about you go pick up something and get Sam some cold medicine while you're at it," he suggested.  
  
Daniel was going to protest but then realized that Jack wanted some time alone with Sam, so he took off with a nod to his friend. Jack really had no desire to talk about what had happened but had a feeling that Sam did. The door had barely shut behind Daniel when she started in.  
  
"You can relax. I'm not going to hold you to that kiss. Although I am curious as to what possessed you," she signed after settling herself on the couch.  
  
He blinked at her in surprise. "You mean besides wanting to kiss you senseless for the better part of the last seven years?" he mocked.  
  
He saw surprise and joy flit across her face before sadness descended once more. "That was the old Sam, Major Carter. I'm not that person anymore," she pointed out.  
  
"No, not exactly the same, but not so different either. You are still brilliant except for when it comes to your personal life, and loyal and brave. You still can take my breath away one moment and annoy me to the point where I want to strangle you in the next. Pretty much the same as when you were my 2IC but without any of the damn regs in the way," he declared.   
  
Twice he saw her hands flutter as if she was trying reply, and both times they fell to her lap again. Huh, she really was speechless.   
  
"I don't want to rush you into anything that you're not sure about or ready for, and you know I suck at this, so before Daniel returns and I loose my nerve, I just want to make sure you know where I stand. Then I promise to back off and let you decide what you want," he told her.   
  
With that he sat down next to her and pulled her into a kiss that, had she not been sitting down, would have left her in a melted heap on the floor. When he finally released her she sucked in a huge breath trying to get oxygen to her spinning head.  
  
"So there you go," he whispered hoarsely. "You ever start doubting how I feel about any version of Sam Carter you just remember that."  
  
When Daniel returned he was surprised to find Jack puttering in the kitchen setting out dishes for their meal, and Sam sitting staring into the fireplace deep in thought. There wasn't even a fire burning he thought with a shake of his head. He was even more surprised when Jack left after dinner, telling him that Sam was in good hands and they should call him if they needed him.  
  
"So do you want to tell me what's going on between the two of you?" Daniel asked her once they were alone.   
  
Maybe because she didn't actually have to voice the doubts and longings, or maybe just because it was Daniel and she trusted him almost as much as she trusted the man that had just walked out the door, but she found herself telling it all to him. She's was hesitant at first, but hands and fingers gained momentum as she went.   
  
"He's right you know. You may not be the confident, spit in the eye of the Goa'uld Major Carter that you were before, but all of the other qualities are still there. You're still smart and brave like Jack said. But you never had any confidence in your personal relationships before and you certainly don't now. Just ask yourself one question Sam. You've been in love with Jack for a long time. If he was the one that had been captured and tortured and he came back slightly bent but not broken, would you love him any less?" Daniel asked. He didn't expect an answer so he was surprised when she gave one.   
  
"I loved him more," she replied thinking back to a time when Jack had indeed been captured and tortured and returned to them suffering from withdrawal and nightmares.   
  
Daniel blinked as he got on the same wavelength as her. 'Well there you go then," he smiled. "I'm going to sack out in the spare room. Wake me if you need anything," he told her, and then left her to her contemplation of the empty fireplace.   
  
She eventually roused herself and went through the motions of getting ready for bed. It was hours before she fell asleep and then only because her earlier panic attack had left her exhausted. When she woke in the morning she once again went through the motions of gathering clothes for the day and heading into the bathroom to take a shower. As the warm water cascaded over her (and she really did appreciate the fact that she could now shower and bathe without having to worry about any casts) a sense of calm and purpose came over her. She'd survived. Now it was time to start living again.   
  
She stood in front of the mirror when she was dried off and once again studied herself. Several of the scars were fading and she had put on enough weight that she was almost able to wear some of her old clothes. She had lost most of her muscle tone though. She needed to start exercising seriously again. Other than that she looked pretty good she decided honestly. She and Cassie had spent plenty of time out in the deck over the summer so she was tan except for her left leg. A good self-tanner would take care of that. And her hair was lighter, although it could use a trim. She smiled to herself. She sure hoped Daniel was up to being her translator today. She had some work to do.  
  
Dr. McKenzie was shocked by the vision that met his eyes Monday morning. Sam Carter was sitting in his office and if he hadn't known better he would swear he had stepped back in time. Her hair was cut in the slightly longer style she had been sporting just before her capture although the figure hugging black slacks and the white shirt open at the neck that she wore were hardly reminiscent of BDU's . Unlike her uniform of old this outfit accentuated her figure rather than hiding it. More than anything though it was the look of determination in her eyes that told him that his patient was once again ready to kick ass. He raised one eyebrow and started the session.  
  
'I'd pay good money to find out just what the hell happened in that closet,' he thought with a shake of his head.   
  
  
  
Jack had never rescheduled the dinner with Sara. He'd called and apologized for the interrupted evening, and she'd known instantly from his tone of voice that there would be no further invitations. He had moved on. In a way it made it easier on her. Now maybe she could too. He was never surer of that decision than that Monday when he arrived on base and caught sight of Carter. One look and he knew he was in trouble. And he wasn't the only one who was looking, damn it.   
  
Contrary to most people's opinions of her, Sam was not oblivious to the attention she was getting, especially from her ex-CO. She had spent a lot of time picking just the right outfit for maximum effect without being obvious. After the kiss Jack had given her Friday night she was determined to keep him interested while she put herself back together. Her little sneezing fit and panic attack had gone a long way in moving her along the path to recovery, but it hadn't been a cure all. She knew she had some tough days ahead of her before she was ready to move forward in any type of a relationship. But she wasn't afraid of hard work.   
  
On the plus side, McKenzie had cleared her for part-time lab work, and Hammond had jumped at the opportunity. When she wasn't in therapy of some sort, she was happily back to working on the alien technology she understood better than anyone on the planet. With Jack working almost full time now on the training program and Daniel still busy doing translation work it was almost like old times. Only Teal'c was missing.   
  
For the second time in as many months their lives settled into a new routine. Sam worked out diligently, and slowly was able to progress to using a cane instead of crutches. She also regained much of her former fitness, eating and sleeping better, although still often waking from nightmares. She spent most of her evenings with either Jack, Daniel, or both eating dinner at her place. On the evenings that she and jack were alone nothing major happened between them, although they flirted a bit and were starting to accept the fact that they could share heated looks and light touches without looking over their shoulders.   
  
She still fought depression. She missed going through the gate more and more as her strength returned. And now that she was strong enough she was allowing herself to grieve for Janet. She asked Daniel and Jack one night over dinner to tell her the details of what had occurred and was shocked to find the there was a video tape. It took her another two weeks, but she did eventually work up the courage to watch it, along with the documentary that had been made while she was MIA. She cried her heart out as she watched the first footage. She couldn't help but feel that if she had been there maybe things would have been different. The second tape she found touching, but she was mostly amused at the uncomfortable look on her teammate's faces as they were interviewed. She was glad she hadn't had to be on camera like that.   
  
Finally there was Sam's toughest challenge. She knew she was getting close to speaking because she was starting to find it frustrating to not do so. McKenzie had warned her to not push it, and to start small. So in the mornings in her shower she tried making small noises. At first she just cleared her throat. Then one morning she hummed. It wasn't easy. After the first morning when she had made a hoarse little noise she hadn't been able to force herself to try again for another week. But now the silence was starting to become deafening, and she knew that when the time was right she would be ready. Her vocal cords were warmed up and raring to go.   
  
The moment when it came was something that was totally normal; a scene that had probably been repeated dozens of times over the course of the last seven years. She was working in the lab and despite being absorbed in the inner workings of a communications device that had been found on a now deserted planet, she was aware the instant Jack walked in. She always was. As soon as it was safe for her to shift her attention she looked up to give him a smile to see him fiddling with another device that had been sitting on her lab table. Darn it, she thought she had put that away. With an exaggerated sigh she moved to gently take the delicate object out of those dangerous hands.   
  
"You really don't want to be playing with that, Sir," she warned aloud, then stopped as she had surprised even herself.   
  
Jack's eyes widened and for a moment they both just froze. Then that darn sexy little smile of his appeared.   
  
"If you say so, Carter," he commented, handing her the piece of technology with a flourish.   
  
She silently put it away and then turned back to him finding that the second sentence was harder to get out than the first. But she knew the routine. She could do this.   
  
"Did you want something, Sir?" she quipped with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
The look he gave her made her weak in the knees and left her in no doubt as to what it was he wanted. However he knew what his next line was supposed to be, the one that would break the tension of the moment and make her smile.  
  
"Cake, Carter. I came to see if you wanted to come get something to eat. I could go for some cake." 


	6. Celebration

Author: Jackie W.   
  
Email: jackiesficaol.com  
  
Summary: A celebration is in order   
  
  
  
They stopped to pick up Daniel on the way to the commissary, and through the first part of the exchange Sam sat back and watched in amusement as Jack tried to convince Daniel to take a break. Daniel, being Daniel, perversely decided he was too busy.   
  
"Come on Daniel, we're celebrating," Jack commanded.  
  
"Jack, I said I'm busy. You've got Sam to bug, you don't need me," Daniel protested.  
  
"Carter, want to help me out here?" Jack requested.   
  
"Sorry, Sir. You are on your own," Sam replied.   
  
"Thank you Sam," Daniel began, then froze with his mouth open.  
  
"That's a nice look, Daniel," Jack teased him. "I told you we were celebrating. Are you coming?"  
  
But Daniel had already swept Sam up into a hug and was beginning to babble to her.  
  
"This is so great! I can't believe you're talking. Did something happen to cause a breakthrough or did you just start?" his inquisitive mind was moving faster than his mouth could possible spit out the questions.  
  
"Daniel!" Jack yelled causing his friend to pause. "You're going to scare her into silence again. She's back! Just enjoy it. Course she's still calling me Sir, which is annoying," Jack complained.  
  
Sam just shrugged. It was another ingrained habit she was planning on breaking, but was once again waiting for just the right moment. Her mind instantly provided a few scenarios and she hid a smile. Jack eventually dragged the two of them down for the promised cake. Then they wandered by Hammond's office where Jack pointedly asked the General to order Carter to stop calling him 'Sir'.  
  
Hammond sighed in resignation at O'Neill's antics. "Are you sure you want me to do that Jack? She's likely to come up with another title that while accurate might not be appropriate."  
  
"Yeah Jack, something she's been dying to say to your face for seven years. You have no control over her now," Daniel pointed out.   
  
"Carter's too proper for that, Daniel," Jack dismissed the idea.   
  
"Don't be too sure….. Sir," Sam warned. "I don't have to bite my tongue anymore. 'Sir' might be safer."  
  
They all enjoyed the look of stunned happiness on the General's face as he realized that she had just spoken. Sam was once again enveloped in a heartfelt hug. Before it could get too emotional Jack came to the rescue.  
  
"So I'm thinking, barbecue, my place, Saturday. Do you think we could get a message to Teal'c, General?" he announced.  
  
"Certainly, Jack," Hammond agreed.   
  
"Great. Carter can call Cassie and get her to come home for the weekend," Jack grinned.  
  
"I'm looking forward to it," Hammond said. "Oh, and Jack. You know you can stop calling Sam 'Carter' as well," the General pointed out with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
Jack met the look with a mischievous one of his own. "Sure thing George."  
  
  
  
By Saturday Sam had pretty much taken care of the business of letting people know she was no longer incommunicado. The laughter filled phone called to Cassie had been followed a couple of days later by a more somber one to her brother Mark. Several sessions with McKenzie had assured the man that Sam was coping just fine with this latest breakthrough, and a call to Pete had let him know that it was officially over between them, although she was sure he had known it already.  
  
Friday night found the four previous members of SG1playing poker amid a lot of joking and story telling. Cassie had gone out with friends, and returned to smile and shake her head as she found the members of her adopted family spread out all over Jack's house. Teal'c was in the spare room, Daniel was sprawled out on the sleeper sofa in the den, and she assumed Jack was behind the closed door of his bedroom. Which begged the question of just where Sam was. Her Volvo was still parked outside, but she was nowhere to be seen. Unless of course… Cassie eyed the closed bedroom door with a raised eyebrow.   
  
Sam was indeed curled up next to Jack, although they were both relatively clothed, Jack in sweatpants and a T-shirt, Sam in an old jersey and running shorts. As Daniel and Teal'c had both headed off to get some sleep she had hesitated on her way to crash in her old room. How did she put this so he understood? As usual Jack read her mind.  
  
"Are you still having nightmares?" he asked in concern.   
  
She nodded, and glanced at his bedroom hesitantly as if asking permission.  
  
"You are always welcome to sleep with me, Sam. I've missed having you in my arms since you moved out," Jack admitted and was rewarded by a grateful smile.   
  
"I've missed you too," she agreed.   
  
Silently she wondered if even a house full of people was going to prevent her from jumping the man. But then she grinned. No she had very definite plans for the first time she made love to Jack. It could wait until everyone left on Sunday. Then he wouldn't know what had hit him.   
  
  
  
The next day dawned bright and sunny. Although the weather was getting cooler it was still a perfect day for being outdoors. No one had made any comments on the sleeping arrangements of the night before, nor did they even raise an eyebrow when Sam curled up next to Jack on the couch to watch the movie the group had chosen after Hammond and his granddaughters had left. They couldn't help but smile when by the end she had fallen asleep with her head in his lap though.  
  
"Daniel, would you wipe that smirk off your face and go turn down my bed for sleeping beauty?" Jack hissed, then he turned to Teal'c. "A little help T? I think my left leg is asleep," he sighed. He really hated these little reminders of how old he was.   
  
Between the four of them they got Sam tucked in and then the others headed off to sleep themselves. They had decided to have a big group breakfast in the morning before Teal'c and Cassie had to leave so they were all spending the night again. Jack climbed into bed next to Sam and as she shifted to get comfortable up against him he wondered if he should go tell the others to get a hotel room. Instead he forced his breathing to match that of his sleeping companion until he finally relaxed and drifted off himself.   
  
In the morning the atmosphere was slightly more subdued. Who knew when they would all get together like this again? Although if Jack had his way it would be soon and would involve the blond currently sipping coffee out of his favorite mug becoming his wife. She looked up and smiled at him just then and he had to remind himself to breathe.   
  
Daniel offered to take Teal'c back to base, and Jack was taking Cassie to catch a train back to college, so Sam said her good-byes and then left herself. However she didn't go far, and when she saw Jack's truck pull out of his drive and head off she pulled back in, opened the garage and unloaded the things she needed. Then she went inside and made herself comfortable.  
  
When Jack got back he was surprised but pleased to find the Volvo in the garage. He left his truck in the drive and went in through the front door and almost tripped over the gear sitting there. Fishing gear. Brand new fishing gear that he had never seen before. He turned towards the living room where he heard soft music. Sam was sitting curled up on the couch, shoes off, a map of Minnesota spread out on her lap. She looked up with a smile when he entered.   
  
"Carter?" he queried.  
  
"Sam," she corrected.   
  
"Sam," Jack began again, "Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Trying to find just where this mythical cabin is," she said, her attention seemingly going back to the map.   
  
"Why?" he inquired.  
  
"Because I'm planning on spending a lot of time there," she said holding her breath as he settled next to her.  
  
"It's here," Jack told her, pointing to the spot on the map.   
  
She could feel his breath on her neck as he looked over her shoulder and she dared to look up at him only to find herself mesmerized by his eyes.   
  
"How much time were you thinking?" Jack asked her.  
  
"As long as you'll have me, Jack" she replied pleased by the way his breath caught at her use of his name.   
  
He removed the map from her fingers and reached a hand around to the back of her head to pull her close. Just as their lips were about to meet he paused.   
  
"So 30 or 40 years then?" he confirmed.   
  
She didn't have a chance to answer verbally, but he took her actions over the next several hours to mean she was ok with that plan.   
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
